Beyond the Mirror
Welcome to Beyond the Mirror’s website

If there is to be peace in the world there must be peace in the home.
Violence in the home is everyone’s problem.
Each of us must be part of the solution.
We must do all that we can in the time that we have.

This site provides:
  • A free e-book of poetry on psychological abuse; (click on book cover below)
  • Information on unhealthy/abusive relationships;
  • How we can help as individuals and as communities.
Our mission is to work for peace in homes by distributing information about unhealthy/violent relationships; suggesting ways to help individuals in such relationships; and empowering and affirming victim/survivors.

Beyond the Mirror - The Book

BTM ImageHe Never Hits Her

She watches, like a puppy
waiting for affection or a treat.

She watches--yet rarely
is there a gentle touch,
or loving eyes.

Instead, his eyes
are gunmetal.
His words are razors.

You're getting fat.
What do you do all day?
You parent like your mother.
Where did you get that outfit?
You forgot to get my cleaning again.
It's beyond me how you got a degree.
Your friends say they don't like you.
You missed a spot when you vacuumed.
You forgot to use heavy starch on my shirts. Again.
You get an allowance because you can't handle money.
All I ask is that you do what I ask.
You can't do anything right.

She watches. And he turns, as though
she is a curl
of dog shit that one
would dispatch into sand
with a quick kick of his Nike.

He never touches her. With his fists.

                            Marlene Jezierski, Beyond the Mirror

What is my responsibility? I am a peaceful person.

                  If there is to be peace in the world
                  there must be peace in the nations.
                  If there is to be peace in the nations
                  there must be peace in the cities.
                  If there is to be peace in the cities
                  there must be peace between neighbors.
                  If there is to be peace between neighbors
                  there must be peace in the home.
                  If there is to be peace in the home
                  there must be peace in the heart.
                                          Let us be bearers of peace. Amen.

                                                                  —Sixth century prayer for peace

There is an oft-told story of a man walking the beach. He saw hundreds of starfish that had washed up on the shore. A little boy was tossing the starfish one by one back into the water. The man asked the boy, "Why are you wasting your time throwing those starfish back? In the big picture it isn’t going to make a difference." The boy picked up one more starfish and said, “It will matter to this one,” and threw it into the sea.

Response to violence in homes and communities is about seeing the problem and acting on it. Actions may be small things that make a difference in someone's life, gestures that may only matter to one person. It might be as simple as listening and caring when a victim is struggling and in pain, knowing how the victim can best be helped, being aware of community resources, recognizing that words can be violent, and understanding the debilitating impact of psychological/verbal abuse. Accept the fact that going from victim to survivor is a process and that only the victim can make that happen. But you can help.

Consider these suggestions:
  • Volunteer for agencies that help people experiencing violence.
  • Join community councils that are working on family violence education and prevention.
  • Become involved in policy change, work to improve laws and community responses to violence in the home.
  • Click on "To help community," "To help friends" and "Resources".